A Woman is no Man by Etaf Rum

"Too often being happy means being passive or playing it safe. There's no skill required in happiness, no strength of character, nothing extraordinary. Its discontent that drives creation the most--passion, desire, defiance. Revolutions don't come from a place of happiness. If anything, I think it's sadness, or discontent at least, that's at the root of everything beautiful." Etaf Rum, A Woman Is No Man

A Woman Is No Man reminded me of A Thousand Splendid Suns in so many ways. Be it the pain and horrors women went through everyday, be it their sealed lips but screaming souls, or be it the lessons learnt.

Perhaps that was why she had spent her childhood with a book in front of her face, trying to make sense of her life through stories. Books were her only reliable source of comfort, her only hope.

Etaf Rum, A Woman Is No Man

Etaf Rum's writing was bold, courageous, heart-wrenching and heartwarming at the same time.

If I say her writing reminded me of that of Khaled Hosseini's, do not take it as me belittling her by calling her a mere shadow of another man, but take it as me calling her another master of words. Her story gripped me from the very first page. Her characters were real, true and broken in the most beautiful ways.

"That was the real reason abuse was so common, Isra thought for the first time. Not only because there was no government protection, but because women were raised to believe they were worthless, shameful creatures who deserved to get beaten, who were made to depend on the men who beat them." Etaf Rum, A Woman Is No Man

The story is set in two time frames, 1990s and the year 2008. In the 90s we are told the story from Isra, a Palestinian who moves to Brooklyn after getting married to Adam at the age of 17, and Fareeda, her mother-in-law's, point of view and in 2008 from that of Deya, Isra's daughter, born and brought up in Brooklyn, but still chained to Palestine and it's ways of treating women like secondary citizens.

The story sheds light upon the dreams and hopes of women who move from orthodox backgrounds (in this case, an Arab family from Palestine) to 'free countries' like the US. How they believe a better, freeer tomorrow awaits them, only to have their faces smashed with slaps and punches, their bones broken and their will to live quashed under the shoes of patriarchy.

But the story also focuses on another thing: the will and resilience of women, their friendship and kinship to each other, and how, like Dumbledore says, "Happiness can be found in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light."

As I wrote this review and as I read the whole of this book, I was reminded of how I, amongst thousands of other girls like myself, are some of the most privileged beings to have ever set foot on this Earth. Having a family who understands and supports you, having a mother who fights for you and having a father who brought me up like a princess who knows how to use a sword when it comes to it, is as happy, lucky, and blessed as it gets.